Ignorant or Unethical?

Dear Cooch,
We here at Cooch Watch just read a very interesting article online in today’s Richmond Times Dispatch.  In the article, it talks about a company called Star Scientific Inc, in which you apparently have made healthy financial investments.  Not only have you invested in this company, but it seems they have invested in you….giving you $6,000 box of food supplements, a $3,254 trip to Kentucky and the use of a lake house and boat valued at $3,000.  Oh, and apparently you get to shack up at Star Scientific’s chief executive officer, Jonnie Williams’ house in Richmond when you are too tired to drive back to Fairfax County. 

The article also talks about how in 2011 Scientific Star decided to litigate a $700,000.00 tax bill and sued the Commonwealth of Virginia (of which you are the lead attorney…in case you’ve forgotten.)  Apparently in all this time neither side has managed to try to hash things out and get going with the trial.  The attorney representing your buddies over at Scientific Star say they hope the case gets a trial date in the latter part of THIS YEAR, meaning the case would go to court next year….when you have the possibility of being Governor. 

WHEW!  That’s a little confusing to put together, so we were thinking you might not understand all the little ins and outs of how this is what is commonly known as A CONFLICT OF INTEREST. 

A “conflict of interest” is defined by Wikipedia as “when an individual or organization is involved in multiple interests, one of which could possibly corrupt the motivation for an act in another.” 

See, if you had stepped down as Attorney General when you announced you were running for Governor, like the past 6 Attorneys General have done, then this situation would not be a “conflict of interest.” 

Let us give you another example of a “conflict of interest”.  Remember when you said one of your goals was to “make abortion disappear in America?”  And then do you remember last June when the Virginia Board of Health ruled that abortion clinics didn’t need to make costly renovations that would shut them down?  Then you told the Board  they didn’t have the “authority” to make that decision?  And proceeded to play God and wipe out their decision and pretend it never happened?  That is another prime example of a “conflict of interest.” 

We know you are a lawyer.  Heck, you are the biggest lawyer of them all in Virginia.  So, we’re trying to figure out why you don’t seem to understand this term “conflict of interest.”  So, Cooch, it boils down to two things:  Either you are ignorant or unethical.  Which is it? 

Part 2: We Gave The Cooch Choices

So basically Cooch Watch showed up to a pretty dull book signing party and livened things up a bit.  The crusty, old, white men in line pretty much ignored us.  Great.  But security, not so much.  And by security, we mean mall cops, private security, pretty sure there were some state funded security people there also, Cooch’s staffers, and Barnes & Noble management.

But, we were armed with our newly purchased propaganda and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Chief Cooch Correspondent Lacey Landry was nervous, yet excited at the chance to finally get that exclusive interview with The Cooch.  And by exclusive interview, we mean 45 awkward seconds wherein The Cooch refused to look her in the face and kept a strange Stepford Wives-esque smile on his face while scribbling down a personalized (written by us) message.  BUT, the devil is in the details.  Sooooooo here’s the deal.

Barnes & Noble staff told everyone waiting in line that if we wanted our autographed book to be “personalized,” all we had to do was take one of their sticky notes and write down what we wanted The Cooch to write to us.  Weird? we thought so too, but we went with it.

Obviously this offered us a HUGE opportunity to have some fun with The Cooch, and also maybe see how he does under pressure.
So what did we do?

We decided to give him what he would deny us:  CHOICES.


Standing on The Cooch’s Last Line of Defense

We know y’all wanted to be with us at the Cooch Watch Book Club this
weekend. It was so much fun, that for those who couldn’t be there, we
thought we’d write up a little book report.

Picture this: Snow falls on a swanky mall deep in the DC suburbs,
Kenny’s home turf. The Cooch himself sits smugly behind a table
stacked with books, as well as a bottle of Fiji water and a gallon of
hand sanitizer. A squadron of mall cops, nervously sweating Barnes &
Noble employees, frumpy campaign staffers and pimply-faced 17 year old
Breitbart reporters hover around their right-wing savior.

A scraggly line of old white men waits in anticipation for the chance
to get a few words in with the Tea Party’s heir apparent. A splash of
red arrives on the scene on this gray day, armed with copies of
Kenny’s new novella. Lacey Landry and Cooch Watch would face The Cooch
this day. What will happen???

Stay tuned for our next installment entitled “We Gave The Cooch Choices”.

The Cooch and “Aspirin for Birth Control” Guy….

Sitting in a tree….K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
That’s right. The Cooch had to release his tax returns for last year and turns out he was given an $8,056 gift from a multi-millionaire admirer. The Washington Post reports that Foster Friess invited The Cooch for a weekend of hunting in Texas. You may or may not remember Foster Friess from when he made headlines for telling Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC:
“I get such a chuckle when these things come out. Here we have millions of our fellow Americans unemployed, we have jihadist camps being set up in Latin America, which Rick [Santorum] has been warning about, and people seem to be so preoccupied with sex. I think it says something about our culture. We maybe need a massive therapy session so we can concentrate on what the real issues are. And this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s such inexpensive. Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.

We here at Cooch Watch are guessing that a weekend get-a-way that cost $8,000 must have included things like private jets, lobster, massages, peeled grapes…well, we can only imagine!

Anyway… Millionaire Friess loves bank rolling birth control-hating candidates like Rick Santorum and perhaps now The Cooch.

We need an aspirin just thinking about it. And not for our vaginas.

Newsflash: Common Decency Doesn’t Make You a Lover of Woman Kind.

This week it appears The Cooch is pandering in uncharted waters: women. We have been carefully watching The Cooch’s new and very vocal campaign to end human trafficking. He recently had an op ed printed in the Washington Times and has used the issue as a talking point at many of his most recent appearances. Initially, we watched this with our usual keen and suspicious eyes. We were pretty sure that The Cooch thought he had found a “woman-oriented issue” that he could pretend to “endorse” that wouldn’t completely turn his stomach. We expected The  Cooch would use his opposition to modern day slavery, (which is what human trafficking is), as an example of how he is a champion of women’s  rights. But we waited. We wanted further proof that the pandering to women was in full swing.

That moment finally came to us on Monday when The Cooch came out in public claiming he was against the mandatory ultrasound bill that was passed in last year’s legislative session.

This Washington Post article outlines in great detail the farce that The Cooch perpetrated in an attempt to fake endorsing a revocation of the mandatory ultrasound bill.

First things first: The Cooch loves regulating abortion. Do we really even need to debate this point? We think not. Waste of time. Moving on.

Secondly: Even if he genuinely didn’t like the required trans-vaginal bill, who in their right mind would?

Thirdly (and this brings us full circle): Any decent human being who thinks that torturing kittens is wrong knows that human trafficking/modern slavery and forced ultrasounds are bad things.


Give it up, Cooch. Be who you are. You hate independent women and you hate the autonomy we have in our lives. The only respect we here at Cooch Watch had for you was the fact that you were at least honest about your hatred of the female body. Now you’ve gone and screwed that up.

Stay tuned for our next blog posting on what this means for women voters.

So much Cooch, so little time.

Whew!  It has been a busy week in Cooch World!  To start, earlier in the week: “a dozen legislators in the House of Delegates and state Senate recently wrote Cuccinelli, a Republican, urging him to step down as the previous six attorneys general did to pursue another elected office.”

The Cooch has been pretty adamant about his desire to cling to power with a death grip, but we appreciate the delegates who attempted to appeal to a more respectful and appropriate version of what an Attorney General should be.

THEN, The Cooch went on to compare his crusade against all things birth control to Martin Luther King’s life long fight against racial discrimination.  This little bit of news caused us to look up the term “God complex” and this is what Wikipedia says:
A god complex is an unshakable belief characterized by consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. A person with a god complex may refuse to admit the possibility of error or failure….or may regard personal opinions as unquestionably correct.[1][2] The individual may disregard the rules of society and require special consideration or privileges.

Sounds like The Cooch to us!

And finally, The Cooch started his year of pandering.  This week he pandered at Jewish Advocacy Day and he pandered at the 9th annual Asian Pacific American Policy and Resource forum.  We sincerely hope that these minority voters will not be swayed by The Cooch, especially since as recently as December he attempted to undermine the Voting Rights Act and remove federal protection for minority voters.  Oh Cooch.  Don’t underestimate us or our fellow Virginians.

Mini-Cooch ALERT!

From time to time, we here at Cooch Watch run across a Virginia politician whose ideology and political aspirations merit the honorary title of Mini-Cooch.  Today, we bestow that title onto a woman named Susan Stimpsons.  Ms. Stimpsons  is currently the Chairman of The Stafford County Board of Supervisors and would like to be your next Lieutenant Governor. And just like The Cooch, Suzie likes to pretend she is not just another educated, privileged, woman hater, but a lowly and struggling grassroots politician.  On her website, Suzie states:  “I will turn our grassroots values into conservative governing policies.”  It’s talk like this that sent shivers down our spines here at Cooch Watch and should send shivers down the spine of every freedom loving Virginian.
Furthermore, Suzie sent out a long and ranting email Tuesday (see entire content at the end of this blog, or her Facebook page) on the 40th Anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, explicitly outlining her agenda to end all abortion access in our Commonwealth.
In the email, Suzie promises that she “will not be silent on the right-to-life.  I will use the bully-pulpit of the Lieutenant Governor’s office to lift the conscience of our Commonwealth.” Sound like anyone else we know?  She then goes on to say how much she admires Delegate Bob Marshall.
It’s important to watch these radical and seemingly unelectable right wing candidates.  They sneak in sometimes and before you know it, you’ve just had a political ideologue make radical changes to your basic human rights.



 Saving 30,000

Forty years ago today the Supreme Court handed down Roe v. Wade. In his dissent, Justice Byron White accurately described this decision as “an exercise of raw judicial power” with no basis in the Constitution. National Right to Life estimates that nearly 50 million innocent children have died as a result of this decision.

In Virginia, we know abortion claims 30,000 lives every year.


Little girls and boys. Future sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers. Future teachers, firefighters, doctors and entrepreneurs. Many are minorities. Perhaps even a future President. Lives snuffed out without a chance.

This shocking figure is a shameful tragedy for a state whose heritage is life and liberty. Yet most Virginians are oblivious to the toll. The pictures of these children are not broadcast on our TV screens.

As we mark this somber anniversary, let us pray that the unborn might be soon spared. But more than that, what are we going to do to try and save these 30,000 babies this year. We do everything we can to protect our own children, yet we know 30,000 unborn babies will die this year alone in Virginia abortion clinics.

We pro-lifers have been told for years to be patient. That we need to win hearts and minds as the death continues. But most Republicans avoid the issue like the plague – the plague that abortion is!

Our history is replete with inspiring examples of rare leaders in public life who elevated the big moral issues of our day in spite of the political risks. Leaders like William Wilberforce who was outspoken in Parliament for twenty years until he mustered the public opinion and votes to abolish slavery in the British Empire. Leaders like the founders of our Republican Party who would not let our national conscience rest until slavery was abolished from the union.

If you want someone who will “play-it-safe” on the life issue – I am not your candidate.

I will not be silent on the right-to-life. I will use the bully-pulpit of the Lieutenant Governor’s office to lift the conscience of our Commonwealth.

That is one reason I admire Delegate Bob Marshall. He starts each legislative session with bills designed as if lives depend on them.

Because they do!

I pledge as your next Lieutenant Governor to begin each day with a renewed strength to fight for those who are too small to fight for themselves.

I pledge as your next Lieutenant Governor to lead on the life issue in the State Senate – the historical “graveyard” for pro-life bills. I will lead in both in the Senate Republican Caucus and as presiding officer on the entire Senate.

And I pledge to be an effective spokesperson for the right-to-life – the most fundamental of all our liberties.

I understand the press is sympathetic to the pro-abortion lobby, and they portray us as radical and anti-women for seeking to protect innocent life. But we must engage and win this debate. We must work to present our side more persuasively as we advance stronger pro-life legislation and public education. We must affirm and not condemn. We must also inform women of the truth about the toll abortion takes on those who have them so they are no longer victims of the pro-abortion machine.

Clearly, women in America are shouldering many burdens. What are we doing as a society to strengthen them and encourage strong families? If we don’t fill the void, something else will.

Like Planned Parenthood.

They reported a record number of abortions (334,000 in 2010) yet a paltry 2,300 adoptions were facilitated by them. Their revenues have skyrocketed yet their preventative health services like cancer screenings are down by 29 percent. Forty-five percent of their funding comes from tax dollars, and while Planned Parenthood denies it goes to abortions, we know that this money is fungible.

And even though Republicans have all three branches of government here in Virginia, we still have not completely defunded Planned Parenthood. I call on Republicans to strike and zero out Planned Parenthood’s budget line and stop using tax dollars to fund abortions.

We must never forget that our cause is historic and just: we are in this to save 30,000 Virginia children a year from certain death, and to protect the women exploited and hurt by the pro-abortion lobby.

Let us pray together for the unborn, and for our Legislators and Governor, that they might have the courage to do their utmost to save the 30,000 babies whose lives are at stake this year in Virginia.

Let the Pandering Begin

As most of you probably know, tomorrow is the 40th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Cooch Watch kicked off a week of events today in Charlottesville in honor of this huge milestone.

The Cooch has presented us with a golden opportunity at St Paul’s Episcopal Church to do a little Cooch Watching and stand up to the man who has done more than anyone to end access to abortion in Virginia. On this 40th anniversary, we will stand in protest as The Cooch begins his year of pandering.

Tomorrow, it’s the Jews.

According to a memo from his office, The Cooch will be talking at the Virginia Jewish Advocacy Day about “human trafficking, Medicaid fraud issues, and mental health.” We wish he would have taken this opportune moment to talk more about his views on abortion rights and contraception, but it seems like The Cooch has been lying low on these subjects lately.

Regardless, we will be there to let him know on this day which is an important milestone for women throughout the country, we are not taking our right to abortion access for granted and will always be watching, waiting, and ready to defend this most basic of human rights.

Cooch does Koch

In our last post, we debunked the myth that The Cooch is a struggling grassroots underdog in the governors race. This latest article in the Huffington Post further proves our point by noting that almost half of the whopping million dollars he collected were from big money donors, including the Koch brothers. Furthermore, Mr. Underdog is releasing a book next month. We here at Cooch Watch refuse to purchase such right wing trash, but if any Cooch Watchers out there get their hands on a copy, please let us know.

Finally, we all know that The Cooch refused to relinquish his death grip on his position of Attorney General while running for Governor (as is customary for previous Attorney Generals). Let’s not buy into The Cooch’s propaganda that he respects our Commonwealth and its long and historic traditions. The Cooch respects his own personal lust for power and the opportunity it affords him to create the kind of theocracy he dreams of installing in Virginia.
We are watching you Cooch. And we will never, ever let you become Governor.
Check out the flier below for our Week of Events to celebrate 40 years of abortion access!

Grassroots, our a$$!

The Cooch can’t stop talking about how his campaign is a “grassroots” campaign and about how much of a financial underdog he is in the race for Governor this year. Cooch Watch already told you about a recent fundraiser in Northern Virginia held in a $2 million mansion on MANSION DRIVE, of all places.

Well, it looks like millionaires LOVE The Cooch. This time the people throwing the elaborate fundraiser are a couple of medical doctors named Dr. Nancy Dye and Dr. Kevin Dye from Roanoke, Virginia.

If you’re in Southwest Virginia, now’s your chance to Cooch Watch! Obviously, this is great opportunity for our Roanoke Cooch Watchers. As usual, bring your signs and wear your Cooch Watch t-shirts! Find the details below.


Where?  1801 Prospect Rd SE, Roanoke, VA 24014

When?  Tomorrow night!  Friday, January 4 from 6:30pm to 8:30am

Phone number of the Dye Mansion in case you need directions?  540-989-4118

Dress?  Business Casual